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50+ Funny Coffee Puns to Show Off Your Wit

Some might say that puns are the lowest form of humour, but here at Homegrounds, we strongly disagree. A good wordplay featuring everyone’s favourite topic, coffee, is a sign of quick wit and a well-caffeinated brain.

So if you’ve bean dying to unleash a whole latte cleverness on the coffee lovers in your life, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s a list of coffee puns guaranteed to elicit groans (of admiration!) from your friends and family.

Coffee Puns About Coffee Love

Are you looking for the perfect thing to write on your coffee crush’s Valentine’s Day card? Caffeinating your way through a hard break-up? You’re sure to enjoy these coffee puns about love and relationships no matter the reason.

  1. Where have you bean all my life?
  2. I’ve bean thinking of you a latte!
  3. I can’t espresso how much I love you.
  4. You’re brew-ti-ful.
  5. What did the two coffee lovers say when they got together? We’re meant to bean.
  6. Mugs and kisses.
  7. I made a pot of coffee espresso-ly for you.
  8. What did the wife say when her husband drank her coffee? This is grounds for divorce!
  9. What happened when the wife drank her husband’s coffee? The relationship came to a bitter end.
  10. We’re the perfect blend.
  11. You keep me grounded.
  12. I’m so frappe to know you.
  13. Sending you a whole latte love!
  14. The two coffee lovers got together and made a happy cup-ple.

Espresso Puns To Espresso Yourself

When it comes to espresso and espresso-based drinks, the possibilities for humor are endless! The word “frappuccino” is practically a joke in itself. So enjoy these following nuggets of wordplay featuring espresso puns, latte puns, mocha puns, etc.

Need even more laughter in your life? Be sure to check out these hysterical coffee memes.

  1. I can’t fully espresso my excitement!
  2. What’s coffee’s favourite spell? Espresso Patronum!
  3. How is divorce like an espresso? It’s expensive and bitter.
  4. Thanks a latte.
  5. Livin’ la vida mocha.
  6. Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
  7. Don’t worry, be frappe.
  8. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
  9. Thanks a latte for being my friend.
  10. You mocha me crazy!
  11. Why was the latte so upset? Because a customer told the barista it was bitter.
  12. Why didn’t the espresso talk to the herbal drinks? They weren’t his cup of tea.

Iced Coffee Puns Are Always Cool

Is your favourite coffee drink as cool and smooth as your wit? Then you’re going to love these iced coffee puns.

  1. How do you grind beans for iced coffee? A brrrr grinder.
  2. I really wanted ice cream in my coffee today, but Affogato ask for it.
  3. What did the girl say when her iced coffee arrived? Cool beans!
  4. It took 20 minutes to get my iced coffee, but better latte than never.

Barista Puns and Cafe Puns

Want to impress the barista at your local coffee shop? Show up with one of these jokes in your back pocket. You might even score yourself some free perks (pun fully intended).

Quality punning is also a great way to come up with clever coffee shop names. Remember Central Perk on Friends? How about Brewed Awakening?

  1. What’s a barista’s favourite morning mantra? Rise and grind!
  2. What’s a barista’s favourite exercise at the gym? The French press.
  3. Why did the coffee shop feel familiar? Déja-brew.
  4. Why did the cafe close early for the day? A storm was brewing.
  5. What do baristas say to their least favourite customers? You mocha me crazy!
  6. What did the Starbucks employee say when the police called to say a robber was at large? You mean, “At Venti?”
  7. What did the new barista say about her job? Working here has lots of perks.
  8. What did the barista say to the overly excited coffee beans? Kettle down everyone.
  9. My local barista can be really rude sometimes; he doesn’t have a filter.

Groan-worthy Coffee Dad Jokes and Coffee Puns

Let’s finish off with 12 more coffee dad jokes and puns, ranging from hilarious to face-palm-inducing. They would make for great ice (coffee) breaker on your next coffee shop date – or the basis for a funny coffee shirt.

  1. Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a tea-shirt.
  2. This news is hot off the French presses!
  3. Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
  4. What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never!
  5. Why don’t snakes drink java? Because it makes them viperactive.
  6. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  7. What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
  8. What’s the opposite of coffee? Sneezy.
  9. What do gossiping coffee pots do? Spill the beans.
  10. What’s it called when you steal someone’s cuppa joe? Mugging.
  11. I didn’t choose the mug life, the mug life chose me.
  12. Brew can do it!

That’s A Wrap!

Or rather, that’s a frap! We hope you enjoyed this list of hilarious and terrible coffee puns.

Do you consider yourself something of a wordsmith? Do you have a top coffee pun we missed? Leave it in the comments below. We’ll keep updating this list with our new favourites!

If you enjoyed this list, share it with your friends, family, and social media. If there’s one thing the world needs, more people spouting coffee puns.

If you’re also looking for something to watch, here’s our list of the best movies about coffee!

Julia Bobak
I love trail running, rock climbing, coffee, food, and my tiny dog — and writing about all of them. I start every morning with a fresh Americano from my home espresso machine, or I don’t start it at all.

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